I was cruising a popular men’s online magazine and I came across a very interesting article written by Matthew Fitzgerald titled, “Are Women Feminizing Men?” The article begins with a description of a 1995 rally in Harvard Square lead by then-Harvard junior Rich Zubaty. The theme of the rally was “Take Back the Penis.” It basically defended men’s rights to be men as well as our right to reject feminism. The article goes on to describe how men have become more feminine in an attempt to satisfy women. He also presents the “Sitcom Theory” in which Ray Romano’s character on “Everybody Loves Raymond” is a hallmark example of the type of man we are destined to become if we succumb to everything women want from us. He wraps up the article by talking about men who act like women, the role of feminism in this process and how “we can take it back.” This whole article got me wondering…
Are We Becoming Punks?
I probably should apologize in advance because my words are sure to offend some women. Ironic, because doing that (apologizing) would just be showing an example of how we are doing things just to please women. But dammit, it needs to be said. As young’ns, we (men) are taught to believe that relationships are 50/50 partnerships. We are lead to think that compromise means both parties give up something to satisfy the whole, that your partner will always consider your feelings before making any decision. If you’ve been in any relationship longer than a year, you learn that this is certainly not the case.
Being in a long term relationship is not unlike being a teenager living at home. You have to take out the trash, put the toilet seat down, you have a curfew and you have to call home to check in whenever you do anything. I can already hear all the dudes snickering. “I ain’t no punk. I come and go as I please. I don’t have to call before I do anything. If I wanna go out with my boys, I go out with them. No questions asked.” Uh huh. And just like a teenager who chooses to break the rules, you are punished. You may not have the type of woman that bitches and nags when you don’t abide by these rules, but she will definitely punish you. Wonder why she wouldn’t have sex with you those nights you came in at 3 AM, smelling like cheap beer and stale cigarettes? Can’t seem to figure out why she blew up at you when you forgot to use a coaster? Think her random mood swings are because of PMS?
No, fool. They are because you won’t get on board.
At times, it seems like a lose-lose situation. Do whatever she wants and you lose the autonomy you had during your single days. Go against her wishes and you are instantly an asshole. And this is not even to say that all women are overbearing shrews. But the fact of the matter is that if you do something she doesn’t like, or worse, you fail to do something she expects, her feelings will be hurt and you will have to deal with the consequences.
Having this information in advance most times can be good. But other times it can turn dudes into straight bitches.
There is nothing worse than seeing a dude, in attempts to get with a woman, do any and everything she wants to. Quite frankly, it infuriates me. Sometimes it starts even before they begin talking. These days, cats are rocking the most gender ambivalent/feminine clothing I think I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. Nail bitten manicures have been replaced by French tips. Dudes are waxing their backs, chest, legs, and eyebrows, wearing make-up, colored contacts…GETTING EXTENSIONS?! This is unacceptable on ANY level. Aside from the fact that you’ll lose any and all respect from the fellas, no woman wants a man that is better looking than her!
What is my point? Fellas, it is 2007. Some of us are in college, some of us have just begun our careers and others of us are veterans in our fields. We are more experienced than we are given credit. We have begun to realize our earning potential. We are smarter than we have ever been at any time in history. We should be smart enough to know that it is all about us! Clearly we want the attention and companionship of women, but NOT at the expense of our dignity and manhood. It is time that we realize they need us as much as we need them, if not more. This should be used to our advantage. Forget meeting them halfway, it’s time that we make them come to us.
That’s right, women should pursue us. Like I said before, it is 2007. When it is advantageous for them, women invoke their equality to men. They don’t need a man to help them fix their cars. They don’t need a man to move that heavy box from the attic. They don’t need a man to pay their bills. (See a pattern forming?) So, it is only right that we treat them accordingly. It’s time that we start giving them coy looks from the end of the bar. We should befriend women we know that are interested in us. But instead of returning the sentiment, we should put them in the “friends box,” sharing all our dirty little details about our trysts with other women. We should give vague answers and mixed signals.
And ultimately, we should be men!
We should act however we feel. We should curse as loud as we want. We should scratch ourselves in public. We should be crass whenever we feel like it. We should check out any woman we damn well please because you know what, they are our eyes and we should do whatever the hell we want to do with them! No longer will we suppress our primal urges to seek approval from women!
For this to work, we need to all be on the same page. Like any other team, we are only as strong as our weakest link. All the dudes who choose to ignore the fact that we have been taken for granted for way too long are helping to perpetuate the vicious cycle. 2007 should be the year that we take it back for men.
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